If you’re reading this, you’re already gone. I know you’re going to be great out there but that doesn’t make this any easier. You’ll go out into the world and do great things: provide accurate, suppressive fire, demonstrate diminished spray while the user is sliding and enrage noobs. As for me? I’ll stay here in my shop and try to not get too attached to other guns in my collection. I never can. You’re all just too special.
What I’ll remember about you the most is your spirit. Even from your earliest prototypes, you were a fighter. You never had the farthest sight, but that never mattered. You worked hard and, ultimately, your focus, your determination and your accuracy are the things that define you.
My favorite Instagram account once posted the following quote in front of a guy in a suit exiting a nice car “Greatness doesn’t see obstacles, only opportunities.” And, Trencher, that’s you to a T. In early testing, when you couldn’t hit water from the ocean, you simply turned your magazine box sideways. Now, that side-inserted magazine box defines you. Or when the assault rifles made fun of you for only dealing modest damage? You were inconsolable. You said, “I can’t help it! It’s how you made me! If only I could throw a grenade at those jerks!” And, look at you now, the only SMG with an available, under-mounted grenade launcher. One of a kind. That’s you, Trencher.
People say merely inputting specifications into a 3D printer and tapping ‘Print’ doesn’t make you an “actual parent” but those people? They’re wrong. I made you. And being a parent means knowing when to let go. So, Trencher, it’s time for me to say goodbye. You weren’t meant to sit around and collect dust. You belong out in the world. It makes me sad. But, I know you’re gonna do great. If I could cry, I’d be sobbing like a human baby. But, it’s good that I can’t because moisture ruins my internal processors.
Quartermaster Collection prototypes are available in The Triple Play includes: 10 Rare Supply Drops, a Quartermaster prototype of any rarity and an Epic MKII Hack. Prefer Zombie Crates to Rare Supply Drops? No problem, it’s also available in Zombies! Snag three times the gear with the Triple Play, now through August 14th!