Honestly, not a bad commentary, and impressive gameplay... but I think you could stand to improve a little bit in certain areas.  Know that most people subscribe and like videos not just for the gameplay, but for the quality of the commentary that goes with it. A couple of tips, just from someone who has seen a lot of good, and horribly bad, CoD videos over the years.

1) Don't start the video begging for subs and likes. Its a little pushy, and I think it will put people off. Ask at the end of the video, once you've shown them what you have to offer. Asking for likes/subs before you've done anything is like asking the boss for an advance on your paycheck before starting your first day at a new job.

2) Plan your commentaries. Don't script them and read them off a paper like a robot, perse, but think ahead about what you are going to say, what points you want to cover and so on. You rambled a lot during this gameplay and it seemed you were just searching around for something to say next.

3) Know how long your video is.  When you are researching your commentary, pay attention to how long the game you captured is and pace your commentary to fit within that time frame. You did an outtro about 3 or 4 times in this video, not a smooth ending, plus it ended at about 5 and 1/2 minutes on a 7:30 second video.

I think you've got something, personality and wit, definitely skill at the game and a good idea to work off of.  Keep working on your dialogue and think about changing that intro a bit, and I think you will see some growth.

I personally thought it was a good gameplay although i listened to it on mute as i was working! Yet to give the PM-9 a proper chance but after watching this i think i'll give it a go next prestige

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